So was up with the Bystander?

When you think of a bystander you think of a person you come up with a picture of someone who just watches while a crime or unjust act is committed. We all have been bystanders at one point and time for whatever reason. I myself think that it's just human nature to mind you business at certain times. We don't want to over step our boundaries or disrespect other so at times we may not speak up when we should. I can think of an account when being a bystander who didn't speak up led to a horrible outcome.

Plot: Mark and Jacob are upperclassmen teammates of Dave who is a freshman on their basketball team. Mark and Jacob are the practical jokers on the team and usually pick on the younger guys as a form of hazing. In their minds their never think they take things to far and because most of the guys just accept the torture they never find themselves in any trouble. Coaches and other players are use to their antics so it has never been an issue. But this year Dave seems to be annoyed more than the other freshmen. He gets angry and feels uncomfortable with their behavior especially hen it comes to physical contact. This is the story of the one time things went to far.

M: Practice was hard as hell today. Coach been riding our ass all week man.
J: I know, but you know he only on that bullshit because we loss to hopkins last week. He put Dave and Mitch on our team today and they can't rebound or defend to save their lives. Wait till Dave get's down here i got something for that ass.

(Dave walks into the lockerroom, only to find all his clothes on the floor and his cell phone missing. Already use to Mark and Jacobs antics he accuses them and claims he's fed up)

M: Pussy!!! (Mark runs by and slaps Dave in the ass and tells him to box out)
D: Didn't i tell you bout that Gay shit. Where's my phone and who took my stuff out my locker? Yall really need to grow up.
J: Stop whining like a little girl. My sister doesn't even cry that much so shut up. Yeah we got your phone so what you goana do about it?
M: Nothing cause he don't got no heart, that's why his ass can't get off the bench. Softy!
D: Yall really don't have no life. I ain't do anything to you so just give me my stuff back so i can go home.

(Mark and Jacob ignore him and walk to the other side of the locker room. As Dave begins to get dressed they start slapping him with bath towels)

D: I'm tired of both of you.
M: So what you goana stay tired. And why your homeboy Tommy keep calling your phone?
J: I knew he was a cupcake.
M: Everytime i see yall in glar yall sitting to close for my liking. You ain't even hit nothing on campus yet boy.

(John walks in and walks back out thinking to himself whether or not he should help. He doesn't. Dave gets beat up by his two teammates and only they were there so no bystander was available to support daves case. Dave quits the team and leaves school. John had a chance to stop this all and never said anything.)

Who are the victims?

Anyone, Everyone, You, we all could be victims of rape or a sexual offenses. There is no specific profile of people that are raped or sexually offended. Many times we assume that victims are those who are weak, appear slutty, or a female. This is not always the case. Anyone could be a possible victim regardless of sex and age...

The other night me and the guys went out to a party at a Frat house on Pennsylvania Avenue. We had already had a couple drinks at the local Green Turtle Restaurant so by the time we arrived we were in the mood to party and have a good time. The entire night we played beer pong, flip cup and other drinking games with the sisters of the Phi Si Cuu Cuu sorority. We were having a great time but i begin to feel drunker than i had expected. I didn't want to be a party pooper so i continued on as if nothing was wrong. We then engaged into shot taking and handle jugging. Around 4am i felt myself feeling a little woozy so a young lady named Maggie escorted me to the bathroom upstairs. I had intended to use the bathroom but she wanted to take a detour to another room. I wasn't thinking, i thought she wanted to talk about something important or needed help because she was friends with my girlfriend. I didn't think she had any alterior motives. In my current state i was barely making any sense when i spoke so i just starred at her. Maggie begin to kiss me on my neck and touch me all over. I was completely helpless, we made our way onto the bed and she began to go down on me. That was the last thing i remember. The next day all of my friends had told me how wasted i was and let me know that me and Maggie hooked up. The next day i seen her at lunch she acted as if nothing had happened and so i didn't say anything either. I could barely look my girlfriend in the eyes, i was so ashamed. Wow, i had been raped, i didn't think it was possible and no one would even believe me if i told them. Confused and dazed i wondered what would become of my life if i were to speak up. Guess will never know because i won't be the first guy to report a rape...

Have you seen em?

Manny Morris is a 33 yr old repeat sex offender. He has served multiple terms for incidents involving two young girls who were related and a repeat offense against his ex-girlfriend's sister. All of his victims were under the age of 16 and each case he was tried and found guilty. Since being released after a 7 year sentence he had re-located from Baltimore to Randallstown, Md where he rents out a home from an elderly couple. He has stayed out of trouble since 2005 but has also been unemployed and solely survives off of welware and money provided through programs set aside by the government for former convicts. As a child Morris was always plagued by a temper. He dropped out of Dunbar high school in 1986 because of repeated suspensions and repeated failed attempts at getting passing grades. He came from a home torn a part by his father's abuse of his mother, and he eventual turning to drugs and alcohol. As an only child he dealt with his anger and depression alone and usually became very violent in altercations with peers and girlfriends. His first offense was a rape committed in 1997 to Tammy Watson and her sister Netta Watson. Both were underage girls who he met at the movie theatre. His last offense came after he broke up with his last girl Marge Johnson. After Marge became aware of his past she ended their 1 year relationship abruptly. One day hoping to have a conversation with her after work Manny broke into her house and waited alone not knowing that she was out of town. Maggie Johnson, Marge's 14 year old sister had come by the house to let the dog out while her sister was at work, unaware of the breakup she didn't assume that Morris had broken into the house. He questioned her about her sister and if she had been seeing anybody knew, as he grew impatient with her responses one thing led to another and he brutally raped her and beat her up. Police arrived shortly after the incident because a neighbor had heard screaming and called the cops. Morris had been placed on restraining orders and is not allowed to come in 100ft of contact with any of the victims or their family members. Today he remains in the Sexual Offender database and finds it hard to branch out or get a job paying more than minimum wage. Last he was heard from, he was helping out a landscapping company in howard county on weekends for extra cash. His next offense will land him a minimum of 10 years in prison.

Who is a "rapist" or "sexual offender"?

Easily put a rapist is "one who commits rape." as reported by http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/rapist. This person to me is someone who has already committed a rape and has been caught or prosecuted.

"A sex offender is a person who has been criminally charged and convicted of, or has pled guilty to, or pled to a sex crime . Crimes requiring mandatory sex offender registration may include child sexual abuse, downloading pornographic behavior material of persons under the age of 18, rape, statutory rape and even non-sexual offenses such as kidnapping. The term sexual offender is a broad term, with sexual predator being used to describe a more severe physical or repeat sexual offense." This statement is found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_offender. A sex offender could possibly be someone who is located in your neighborhood. After being released from jail sex offenders locations can be found on your local legal websites. It's really hard to live a normal life or ever recover after being convicted of being a sexual offender because of the negative connotation that people have of you. I myself have worked with children who have been sexually abused and the mental struggles they live with are truly sad. Most have nightmares and never fully recover from such an intense sexual episode.

Here are some helpful sex offender websites.

1. http://www.mugshots.com/Criminal/Sex Offenders/

2. http://crime.about.com/od/sexoffenders/Locate_Sex_Offenders.htm

What is Rape/Sexual violence?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rape defines rape as "any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_violence describes "Sexual violence has a profound impact on physical and mental health. As well as causing physical injury, it is associated with an increased risk of a range of sexual and reproductive health problems, with both immediate and long-term consequences."

I myself have never been a victim of such violence and hope that i never will. But i do realize that this is a problem in the world we live in today and i hope that people have outlets and know how to get the proper help if they are victims. Sexual abuse is very serious and cannot be taken lightly. Most people have a visual image of a rapist being a creepy person dressed in all black, but what most do not know is that rapists are usually people that you know. You must always be conscience at all time of your surroundings and the people you keep company with.

What do i think of rape? I think it is a cowardly act to obtain a sexual favor that you do not deserve. I believe that most people who rape others do not have respect for themselves. It hard to understand the motivation for a rape. Usually those who prey on other that are weaker that them have low self esteem and low self confidence. I think we all should lend a hand in promoted a rape free community. We also need hot lines and programs for those who have committed rapes to help them get back on the right track in life.

Posters such as the one found in your upper right hand corner can help with rape awareness. Find more at http://www.allposters.com/-sp/How-to-Stop-Posters_i838357_.htm